Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Embracing the Humanity of the Situation

One week day, I had dropped my son off at his program. As I drove out of the parking lot, I felt this immense joy and a merging of my whole self. I had remembered a time not too long before this event, when I was sitting at my laptop, manifesting this experience that had great importance in my life. I had made the decision and tied down dreams to reality, making it happen.

I had willfully created this event. My being exuded delight as I lovingly wrote a check and paid for this amazing experience for my child. It felt like a merging of dreams and reality, and a joining of my creative divinity with my humanity.

Another day, same time, same day, a week later, in the same place, something different occurred. As I was leaving, I was carefully observing the neighboring cars, ensuring I would not pull out at the same time. Slowly, I had backed up and tapped a car’s bumper behind me, just as I had shifted from reverse into drive. 

I didn’t even feel the bump as my vehicle had a metal bumper and it hit a smaller, plastic one. After getting out of the car, I had conveyed my apologies countless times, concerned with the other parent’s vehicle. I had given her my insurance information and that was that. 

It was when I had reached my car, when I got in to drive away, that emotions had come rushing over me. I felt fragmented into various uncertain and unpleasant emotions. I felt disorganized, messy, concerned about repair cost, and less than whole and solid. Just plain old not together. It was a disorganizing, shaking sensory experience. As the day wore on, I had felt exhausted from the scornful flush.

As *life* sense tends to present itself so simply and magically when we are attentive and aware, on the radio, a few hours later I got my message. I had tuned in to the Rob Base song, “Joy and pain is like sunshine and rain.” My body allowed a deep, pausing breath as I had made the connection and realized that both joy and pain, like two sides of a coin, have their place in the same space. 

We are able to experience on such a vast spectrum, inside our beings. I am awed at how immensely powerful we are as humans to be able to experience emotions on such grand feeling scales. It is part of the gift of our humanity, in whatever form it takes. 

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Owning and Honoring Your Self Space

What is the quickest way to relinquish your power? Loose lips? Chatter box. Divulging too much information. . .things you didn’t necessarily want to share. 

Did you feel the need to fill space? Did it just slip out?

Did you hang up from a phone conversation with your boss or neighbor wishing you could redo the conversation? Like a candle engulfed in flames, did you melt – pouring into the empty space? 

Feel good about your awareness. This reaction you are experiencing is the first step in protecting your energy.

Next time, try imagining a container holding the candle, with firm, clear and comfortable boundaries that keep it from spilling over. Boundaries keep things tidy and you *choose* when you want to pour wax and how much that will be. It will be intentional and purposeful.

It just so happens that every area of life is interrelated, and fits this mold. So, when your home space gets messy and chaotic, when your bills get lost and do not get paid, when you give more of your time than you had planned and it does not feel good, it leaks energy just as when we leak our thoughts and words and regret it later.

An exercise to strengthen your boundary muscles or reinstate boundaries: 

By mindfully doing a physical activity, you can influence more than one area of your life simultaneously. Do you need more order so your intentions are clear and you keep your boundaries intact? Try lovingly and intentionally creating a container that holds various elements, (any liquid and solids). I am personally envisioning a vase where I add some stones from nature, some water and some flowers. The vase is reminiscent of my SELF holding my values with appropriate/feel good boundaries. I can share any contents of the vase when I choose. I can feel good about that.

We usually like to do what feels good, which often times is what we are good at. When we feel good about our action or conversation, we enjoy it more and it comes more easily.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Hey, Slow it Down!

I had the privilege of sitting with a few of the most grounded, solid and present, (younger than me) adults today.

Since being in Colorado, I have noticed many people are not in a rush and seem more grounded than my previous state of residence. I have had to really slow down driving around, because here *I* am the crazy driver. Or, was the crazy driver. So, I got to thinking. . .

If we all would slow down and really *be* with our moments, we would be missing a lot less.

Thinking of society today as a whole, people crave more time with their partners because they are more busy, more time with their children because the children are inundated, more time so they can work out because they have a desk job or eat less than healthy food because it is quicker to fix, worry about squeezing in some tutoring for the kids because they are "falling behind" in math because they are so busy and have so much worksheet homework they don't get to bake and play card games at home, that help us really understand numbers, they buy disposable everything because there is no time to wash, which of course is more pricey so they have to work more and of course that is less than good for the planet. 

The people I sat with today grow much of their own food. When they bake cookies, I'm pretty sure they don't buy the ready made loaf of cookie dough at the grocery store. They are baking cookies for the process of baking, just as much as for the product. Both are just as delicious. 

Think of all the things that could be gained by *being* with the task at hand. . .even washing a dish, or wiping down the table. There is much of life that is blurred out of vision and experience when rushing about. There are some things that just can't be rushed and still reach the same result. Life is one of them.

Also, consider picking fruit too soon, putting pasta in the water before it's really at a rolling boil, or wine that hasn't quite aged. Next time, When you get up from your computer, *be* with your moment and slow it down. Really take note of what you previously missed in the last rushed blur. Your life will thank you.